1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,000 DEFENSE ATTORNEYS WHO DEFEND THEM. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 THIS IS ONE OF THEIR STORIES. 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,000 JUST FINISHED UP WITH THE CLERK. 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000 HE'S SHOOK UP BUT OKAY. 5 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000 SAID THE GUY JUST FLIPPED OUT, STARTED DANCING LIKE 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000 COME 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,000 MICHAEL JACKSON, THEN SHOWED A GUN AND ROBBED THE PLACE. 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,000 PERP WAS A BLACK MALE, AROUND 19, REALLY SEXY -- 9 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,000 SEXY? 10 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000 EXACTLY HOW SEXY? 11 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,000 DIMPLES, "HONEY BROWN" COMPLEXION, CHISELED ABS, EXTRA 12 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000 SHINY CHAP-STICKED LIPS... 13 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000 Huey: THIS IS WOODCREST -- AN 14 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000 DAMN, THAT IS SEXY. 15 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000 THERE'S ONLY ONE 19-YEAR-OLD BLACK MALE THAT MATCHES THAT 16 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000 SEXY PROFILE. 17 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000 PRETTY BOY FLIZZY. 18 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000 NEVER HEARD OF HIM. 19 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000 UM, ONLY THE HOTTEST UP-AND-COMING RandB STAR! 20 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000 HERE IS WHERE ROBERT JEBEDIAH FREEMAN, WAR 21 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,000 YOU'VE HEARD OF HIS SONGS -- "TITTY TELETHON"? 22 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 "PLEASURE ME ORALLY"? 23 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 "DON'T TOUCH MY ANUS, GIRL"? 24 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000 HOW WOULD I HAVE HEARD THIS? 25 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,000 OKAY, I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD, "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!" 26 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000 ALL DAY LONG ON THE RADIO, THAT'S ALL I HEAR, EVEN ON THE 27 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000 Huey: WE'RE RIGHT HERE, GRANDDAD. 28 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000 WHITE STATIONS. 29 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,000 NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!" 30 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000 WE ARE LEAVING WOODCREST FOREVER. 31 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000 THAT'S DISGUSTING. 32 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,000 EH, IT'S NOT MY THING, BUT IT'S WHAT PASSES FOR RandB NOW, 33 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000 ALL RIGHT? 34 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000 Huey: NOW, THAT'S TRUE, GRANDDAD. 35 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000 I GOT TEENAGE DAUGHTERS. 36 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,000 THEY'RE INTO BLACK GUYS, SO THIS IS WHAT I GOT TO HEAR. 37 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS WHEN BLACK SINGERS WOULD 38 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000 DRESS IN HIGH-HEEL BOOTS OR BURN HOOKERS WITH CRACK PIPES? 39 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000 BUT NOTHING WORKED OUT AS PLANNED. 40 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000 YOU'RE SHOWING YOUR AGE, MY FRIEND. 41 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,000 FLIZZY'S IN TOWN, DOING A SHOW AT WOODCREST POST PAVILION 42 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000 ANOTHER, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR MOVIN' US HERE. 43 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000 I WAS HOPING TO GO. 44 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000 NOW I HAVE AN EXCUSE. 45 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,000 I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. 46 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000 Riley: WELL, I SAY IT'S ABOUT TIME! 47 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,000 I BEEN SAYIN' THIS PLACE SUCKS SINCE WE SHOWED UP. 48 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000 Granddad: WELL, I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. 49 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,000 BUILDER REFUSED 50 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 INSPIRATION THAT MADE LADY SING Huey: WAIT A MINUTE, GRANDDAD. 51 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,000 WHAT'S GOIN' ON? 52 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,000 Granddad: WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN, GRANDSON? 53 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,000 Huey: I MEAN, YOU NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OR LEARN A 54 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,000 LESSON...EVER. 55 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000 Granddad: UH... 56 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Huey: WE'RE BROKE, AREN'T WE, GRANDDAD? 57 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,000 Granddad: EHHH... 58 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Riley: GRANDDAD BROKE? PSH. 59 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000 COME 60 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,000 HUEY, YOU CRAZY, BOY. 61 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,000 TILL THE WAR IS WON 62 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,000 EVERYBODY KNOW GRANDDAD GOT LOTS OF PAPER. 63 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000 TELL HIM, GRANDDAD. 64 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,000 I'M SORRY, BOYS. 65 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,000 Riley: AW, NO, GRANDDAD. 66 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,000 YOU DIDN'T! 67 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,000 Huey: GRANDDAD, CALM DOWN. 68 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000 GRANDDAD, WHAT WE GOT TO EAT?! 69 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,000 WE HAVE NO MONEY? 70 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,000 Granddad: RENT! 71 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,000 Granddad: THEN HAVE SLEEP FOR DINNER! 72 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,000 WHAT'S WORSE THAN NO MONEY? 73 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,000 YOU CAN EAT TOMORROW. 74 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000 YOU'RE GETTING FAT ANYWAY! 75 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000 THE SECURITY-CAMERA FOOTAGE YOU'RE WATCHING IS ALLEGEDLY OF 76 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Huey: HOW MUCH? 77 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000 Granddad: A COUPLE... 78 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,000 A COUPLE... 79 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,000 RandB SUPERSTAR PRETTY BOY FLIZZY HOLDING UP A LIQUOR STORE IN 80 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,000 Granddad: MNH-MNH. 81 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,000 Huey: HUNDRED THOUSAND? 82 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Granddad: MILLION! 83 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000 WOODCREST. 84 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,000 I REFINANCED WITH THAT DAMN 85 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000 WHILE IT IS DIFFICULT TO CLEARLY SEE THE SUSPECT'S FACE, 86 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000 ADJUSTABLE-RATE MORTGAGE! 87 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,000 AUTHORITIES SAY HIS SEXINESS IS AN EXACT MATCH. 88 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000 THE DANCING LADY IN THAT POP-UP AD LOOKED SO FRIENDLY! 89 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000 THIS ISN'T FLIZZY'S FIRST RUN-IN WITH THE LAW. 90 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000 LAST YEAR, HE RECEIVED FOUR MONTHS PROBATION AFTER BEATING 91 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 UP TO 21%? 92 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000 HIS THEN-GIRLFRIEND CHRISTIANNA LIVE ONSTAGE DURING THE GRAMMYS. 93 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,000 Riley: AW, GRANDDAD. 94 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000 I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY FANS FOR BEATING MY HOT 95 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,000 Granddad: I'M SORRY. 96 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000 I'M SO...SO...SO... 97 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,000 Riley: IT'S GONNA BE REAL EMBARRASSING BEING THE ONLY 98 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000 RandB GIRLFRIEND. 99 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,000 I LET MY FANS DOWN. 100 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,000 WITHOUT YOU, I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE AN RandB GIRLFRIEND TO BEAT. 101 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,000 Both: WHOA. 102 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,000 A YEAR BEFORE THAT, FLIZZY RECEIVED A TWO-YEAR SUSPENDED 103 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,000 SENTENCE FOR SMUGGLING AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FROM NICARAGUAN REBELS. 104 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY FANS FOR SMUGGLING 105 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,000 PAYMENT 106 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,000 AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FROM SOUTH AMERICAN DEATH SQUADS. 107 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,000 I MAKE NO EXCUSES, OTHER THAN IT WAS A REALLY GOOD DEAL AND THEY 108 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 UNDER 109 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000 WERE THROWING IN A LOT OF FREE AMMUNITION. 110 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,000 SIX MONTHS AGO, FLIZZY WAS ARRESTED FOR FIGHTING IN THE 111 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 WATER 112 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000 V.I.P. SECTION OF A NIGHTCLUB WITH NICKI MINAJ. 113 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,000 I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY FANS, FOR FIGHTING IN THE 114 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,000 V.I.P. SECTION WITH NICKI MINAJ. 115 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,000 IN MY DEFENSE, I THOUGHT SHE WAS A ROBOT SENT FROM THE FUTURE TO 116 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,000 KILL ME. 117 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,000 WOODCREST TEA PARTY CHAIRMAN UNCLE RUCKUS STAGED A SMALL 118 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,000 PROTEST AT THE VENUE TODAY. 119 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Ruckus: WHO KEEPS GIVING THESE HIGH-YELLOW FELONS RECORD 120 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000 CONTRACTS?! 121 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000 OH, OH, IT'S JUST A RECORD YOU SAY! 122 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,000 WELL, WHITE FOLKS, YOU WON'T BE SAYING THAT WHEN THE NIGGA THAT 123 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,000 SINGS ON THAT RECORD COMES TO TOWN AND IMPREGNATES ALL THE 124 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000 WHITE WOMEN OF CHILD-REARING AGE! 125 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000 AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE PLANS TO DO! 126 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000 JUST THINK OF ALL THE GOVERNMENT MONEY AND FOOD STAMPS THAT THEM 127 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000 YOU REALLY NEED ALL THAT DAMN ORANGE JUICE?! 128 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,000 LITTLE MIXED-RACE QUADROON NIGGA CHILDREN WILL BE CONSUMING! 129 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000 AND THEY CONSUME A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN REGULAR CHILDREN 130 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,000 FROM NOW ON, THAT'S ALL THE ORANGE JUICE YOU GET. 131 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,000 'CAUSE THEY EATIN' FOR TWO RACES! 132 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000 I'MA STILL BE THIRSTY AFTER THAT. 133 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,000 OTHERS FELT DIFFERENTLY. 134 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,000 I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. 135 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000 LISTEN UP. 136 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,000 FLIZZY CAN WHUP MY ASS ANYTIME! 137 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,000 COME ON! BEAT IT UP, FLEEZY! 138 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,000 WHOO! 139 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000 Sarah: I WANT YOU TO GET MAD AT ME, ONCE IN AWHILE, YOU KNOW? 140 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000 MR. FREEMAN, LOOK OVER HERE! 141 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000 Tom: IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND... 142 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Granddad: TURN THAT DOWN. 143 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,000 NOW LISTEN, LISTEN. Shh! 144 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,000 Sarah: I'M TIRED OF IT! 145 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,000 IT'S BORING! 146 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,000 IT'S BORING ME TO DEATH! A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO... 147 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Tom: SARAH, PLEASE CALM DOWN! 148 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,000 I SAID I APOLOGIZE! 149 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000 OUT OF NOWHERE, A MR. UNCLE RUCKUS. 150 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 Sarah: THERE YOU GO AGAIN. 151 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,000 YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN! 152 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,000 Sarah: APOLOGIZING! 153 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000 Tom: YOU DON'T WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE? 154 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,000 KNOCK-OFF ED WUNCLER AND HIS ECONOMY-CRUSHING SON, EDDIE JR. 155 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 Sarah: NO, I DON'T! 156 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000 Tom: OKAY, I'M SORRY I'M APOLOGIZING. 157 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Sarah: YOU DID IT AGAIN! 158 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000 Tom: SARAH, CALM DOWN! 159 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000 I'M SORRY. 160 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000 I'M SORRY! 161 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 I CAN'T STOP! 162 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,000 Sarah: OH, I SWEAR TO GOD, TOM, IF YOU APOLOGIZE AGAIN, YOU 163 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,000 RARE SKIN CONDITION CALLED REVITILIGO. 164 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,000 ARE OUT OF HERE! 165 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000 Tom: I'M -- MM. 166 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000 LIBERALS ARE, OF COURSE, RIDICULING THIS MAN'S DISEASE, 167 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,000 OKAY. 168 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000 THEN JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 169 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,000 Sarah: THAT'S THE PROBLEM, TOM! 170 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000 I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO! 171 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,000 I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO BUT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO 172 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000 UNCLE RUCKUS RAN FOR PRESIDENT AND BASICALLY ALMOST WON. 173 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 DO IT! 174 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,000 BUT WHY NOT JUST TELL ME?! 175 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,000 HIS STANDOUT MOMENT WAS DURING 176 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Sarah: BECAUSE! 177 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,000 NO WOMAN WAKES UP AND SAYS, "GEE, I HOPE MY MAN DOES 178 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000 EVERYTHING I TELL HIM TO TODAY." 179 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000 YOU'RE THE MAN, TOM! 180 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,000 SOMETIMES I WANT YOU TO DOMINATE! 181 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000 ONE MINUTE. 182 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,000 Ruckus: I DON'T NEED A MINUTE. 183 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,000 TAKE CONTROL! 184 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000 IF I'M OUT OF LINE, PUT ME IN CHECK! 185 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000 Tom: SURE, HONEY. 186 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000 WHATEVER YOU SAY. 187 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000 Sarah: OHH! TOM! 188 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Tom: FINE! 189 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000 I HEAR YOU! 190 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,000 FROM NOW ON, I'LL TAKE CONTROL, AND I WON'T APOLOGIZE ANYMORE. 191 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 EXCEPT, WAIT. 192 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000 YOU WANTED ME TO STOP APOLOGIZING, SO I'M SUPPOSED TO 193 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,000 Ruckus: YOU SEE, FELLOW WHITE AMERICANS, THIS IS WHY I AM 194 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,000 DO THE OPPOSITE OF THAT. 195 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 RIGHT? 196 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,000 YEAH, SO THEN I GUESS I WILL APOLOGIZE, THEN... 197 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,000 NOW, BEIN' BLACK IS BAD -- AIN'T NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT -- AND 198 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,000 IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU. 199 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 SORRY? 200 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,000 GET OUT. 201 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,000 Tom: NOW, HONEY, DON'T DO -- Sarah: GET OUT! 202 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000 PAY YOUR BILLS, DEADBEAT NIGGA. 203 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Granddad: RUCKUS, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 204 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Tom: OW! 205 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,000 Riley: AW, MAN, HERE HE COME! 206 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 Granddad: RILEY, HIT THE LIGHTS! 207 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Riley: MM-HMM. 208 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Granddad: HUEY, ELECTRONICS! 209 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000 ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 210 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000 HERE IN THE WHITE MAN'S HOUSE THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD? 211 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000 I'M TIRED OF THAT HENPECKED SIMP COMING OVER HERE EVERY TIME 212 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 SHE THROWS HIM OUT, SCREAMING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH. 213 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 THIS TIME, HE CAN SLEEP IN THE YARD. 214 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 FOOD STAMPS, NIGGA? 215 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,000 WHILE IT IS DIFFICULT TO CLEARLY SEE THE SUSPECT'S FACE, 216 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,000 AUTHORITIES HA-- 217 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,000 Tom: PLEASE. 218 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 I DON'T NEED THIS TODAY! 219 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000 Huey: IT'S TOILET PAPER AND 220 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,000 I WAS ON MY WAY TO TAPE JIMMY KIMMEL, AND I THOUGHT I 221 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,000 WOULD STOP BY AND SEE HOW Y'ALL NIGGAS WAS DOIN'. 222 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,000 HEY, HOW THAT BLACK-PRESIDENT THING WORK OUT FOR YOU? 223 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000 Granddad: RUCKUS, ENOUGH! 224 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000 HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE PAYMENTS, ANYWAY? 225 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,000 YOU COME BY TO RUB IT IN? 226 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,000 Ruckus: NO, SIR, I DID NOT. 227 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000 I CAME BY TO TELL YOU I QUIT! 228 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 NOW THAT I'M AN OFFICIAL WOODCREST MAYORAL CANDIDATE, I 229 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 A POP-TART. 230 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000 WILL NO LONGER WORK FOR Y'ALL NIGGAS, MEXICANS, OR SWARTHY 231 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,000 HEY, DON'T TELL MY GRANDDAD ABOUT THIS. 232 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000 PERSIANS. 233 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 WE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED YOU. 234 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,000 MR. RUCKUS, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 235 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000 Ruckus: GET OFF ME, ROBERT! 236 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,000 GET YOUR NIGGA HANDS OFF ME! 237 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:22,000 OH, WHAT A SURPRISE -- THE NIGGA IS RESORTING TO VIOLENCE. 238 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,000 Tom: I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S PRUDENT TO RECORD AN 239 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,000 Granddad: IT'LL BE OKAY. 240 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,000 I'M NOT RECORDING. 241 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,000 THIS IS A LIVE STREAM. 242 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000 WHAT'S UP? 243 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Y'ALL KNOW WHO IT IS -- PRETTY BEEZY FLEE-YEEZEY-WEEZY, 244 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000 I MEAN, LAST WEEK WAS THE FIRST PAYMENT I MISSED, SO I FIGURE 245 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000 YOU KNOW? 246 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000 I APPRECIATE ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT Y'ALL BEEN SENDING ME 247 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,000 THAT I HAVE ABOUT, UH... 248 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,000 SINCE THE WHOLE INCIDENT WENT DOWN. 249 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,000 NEVER FEAR. 250 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,000 GOT BIG LAWYERS ON THE CASE. 251 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,000 SAY WHAT'S UP TO TOM DuBOIS. 252 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:42,000 Tom: FLIZZY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO TURN IT OFF, NOW. 253 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000 KILL THE CAMERA, B. 254 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Tom: I ALSO THINK THESE PEOPLE SHOULD LEAVE. 255 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 "THESE PEOPLE?" YOU MEAN "THESE PEOPLE?" 256 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 Tom: I MEAN THESE PEOPLE. 257 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000 YOU MEAN MY PEOPLE, NIGGA! 258 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,000 THESE MY PEOPLE. 259 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,000 ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY TO ME YOU CAN SAY IN FRONT OF THEM. 260 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000 IF ANYTHING, NIGGA, YOU THE STRANGER HERE. 261 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,000 DAD TURNED OVER THE PROPERTY MANAGEMENT TO ME. 262 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,000 YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE ROOM. 263 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000 Tom: IT'S MY OFFICE. 264 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,000 OKAY, THEN, SO WHAT'S THE BIG SECRET THAT YOU CAN'T 265 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,000 YOU'RE ED THE THIRD'S DAD? 266 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,000 TELL ME IN FRONT OF MY FANS AND MY PEOPLE? 267 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,000 MATTER OF FACT, WHY AM I EVEN HERE? 268 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000 Tom: YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR CRIMINAL CASE. 269 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000 CAN I COME IN? 270 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,000 OH, THAT'S RIGHT! 271 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,000 Tom: I REVIEWED THE CASE, AND I'VE WATCHED THE SECURITY 272 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,000 COOL. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 273 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000 CAN YOU GET ME OFF? 274 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000 Tom: DID YOU ROB THE LIQUOR STORE, FLIZZY? 275 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000 THE COUCH IS...UH, BEAUTIFUL, WITH THE...THE CARPET. 276 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,000 I CAN'T SAY THAT...I DID IT, BUT, HONESTLY, REALLY CAN'T SAY 277 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000 OH, I-I'M SORRY. 278 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000 THIS IS MY ASSISTANT, VANDERBILT. 279 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000 Tom: AND WHY CAN'T YOU SAY "F'SHO"? 280 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 UP! 281 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,000 Tom: AND HOW ABOUT THESE -- HOW ABOUT YOUR ENTOURAGE? 282 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,000 MM-HMM? HMM. 283 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000 DO THEY KNOW ANYTHING? 284 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 UP, TOO! 285 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,000 HEY, MAN, WHEN WE GO OUT, WE GO HARD. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE YOUR TIME. 286 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,000 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW COMPLICATED IT IS BEING ME. 287 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000 WE'RE NOT EXACTLY WHERE I NEED TO BE WITH THE HOUSE. 288 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 ALL THE TIME I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I SAID. 289 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Tom: HOW? 290 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 'CAUSE I GOT LIKE 18 PEOPLE TWEETING FOR ME AT ONE TIME. 291 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000 Granddad: YEAH, ABOUT THAT... 292 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 LOOK, I'M JUST HERE TO GET YOU THE OUT. 293 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000 UP! 294 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,000 SO, LIKE, I LOOK AT THE TAPE AND I SAY, "IS IT ME, OR IS IT 295 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,000 SOMEONE I JUST PAID TO ROB A LIQUOR STORE WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE 296 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000 ME?" I DON'T KNOW. 297 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,000 Tom: OKAY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW UP FRONT THAT I HAVE SERIOUS 298 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,000 ISSUES WITH SOME OF YOUR BEHAVIOR IN THE PAST, ESPECIALLY 299 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000 ROBERT, IT'S ME. 300 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,000 IT'S YOUR NEPHEW, EDDIE. 301 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 HITTING A WOMAN. 302 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 I KNEW YOU WAS GONNA SAY THAT. 303 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000 CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT, THOUGH? 304 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,000 POCKET CHANGE. 305 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,000 Tom: NO, I DON'T -- CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT, 306 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 DON'T NEED THAT. 307 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,000 THOUGH? 308 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000 Tom: NO, FLIZZY, THERE'S -- CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT 309 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 YOU REMEMBER THOSE NUNS WAS TRYIN' TO HIDE 310 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,000 Tom: FINE! WHAT?! 311 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000 THE THORNY CROWN IN THE WALL? 312 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,000 UP! 313 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,000 Riley: HEY, MAN, WHY YOU STEALIN' OUR STUFF?! 314 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000 SOON AS I GOT ARRESTED, I SAID, "I WANT THE DUDE THAT GOT 315 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000 Granddad: Shut up. 316 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000 It's his stuff. 317 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000 R. KELLY OFF." 318 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,000 Tom: WELL, I PROSECUTED R. KELLY, AND I -- 319 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,000 NEVER MIND. 320 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 Tom: MY ANSWER IS ALMOST CERTAINLY NO, BUT...I'LL THINK 321 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000 IT'S YOUR HOUSE. 322 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000 IT'S YOUR LIVING ROOM. 323 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,000 ABOUT IT. 324 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000 IF I DO TAKE THE CASE, MY RETAINER IS -- 325 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000 DEAD GRANDMOTHER'S ASHES! 326 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000 MY RETAINER IS... 327 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 OKAY, SO, LOOK. 328 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,000 ENTERTAIN THAT. 329 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 THE NEW RATE ON YOUR SUB-PRIME, NON-PRIME, UNDER-PRIME MORTGAGE 330 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,000 Tom: PLEASE STOP THROWING MONEY AT ME. 331 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 IS $52,000.47. 332 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,000 THINGS A BITCH WILL NEVER SAY. 333 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,000 HEY, THAT'S A SONG! 334 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000 A'IGHT, PIMPIN', I'M-A SEE YOU TOMORROW. 335 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000 I CAN'T COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY IN A MONTH! 336 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,000 WELL, NOT IF YOU KEEP PUTTIN' ALL THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY INTO 337 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,000 YOU GOT TO THINK POSITIVE. 338 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000 Tom: THAT SINGER PRETTY BOY FLIZZY CAME IN TODAY. 339 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,000 SAY, "I WILL GET EDDIE'S MONEY IN A MONTH." 340 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000 Sarah: PRETTY BOY FLIZZY? 341 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,000 ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. 342 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,000 HE'S HIRING YOU TO DEFEND HIM FOR THE LIQUOR-STORE THING? 343 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,000 Granddad: I WILL GET EDDIE'S MONEY IN A MONTH. 344 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000 TOM, THAT'S HUGE! Granddad: WAIT! NO! 345 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Tom: DON'T GET TOO EXCITED. 346 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000 IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY. 347 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000 I'M NOT TAKING THE CASE. 348 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 Sarah: WHY NOT? 349 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 Tom: I DON'T WANT TO DEFEND A WOMAN-BEATER, FOR ONE. 350 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,000 Sarah: HE MADE A LITTLE TINY MISTAKE. 351 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,000 Tom: I GUESS HITTING A WOMAN IS OKAY IF YOU HAVE ABS, 352 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,000 Listen to me. 353 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000 Fake your deaths. 354 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000 Sarah: HE'S A TALENTED ARTIST. 355 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Fake...your...deaths. 356 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000 Tom: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, OKAY. 357 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000 SLOW DOWN. 358 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,000 "FLUID SWAP"? 359 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 "RUB AGAINST MY ERECTION"? 360 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000 "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH"? 361 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,000 I LOVE "YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!" 362 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,000 OH, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET HIM TO SING AT JAZMINE'S 363 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000 BIRTHDAY? 364 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000 Tom: NO! DO YOU LET HER LISTEN TO THAT? 365 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,000 Sarah: OUR PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN ROUGH ON HER. 366 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,000 IT WOULD BE NICE TO, YOU KNOW... 367 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,000 WHAT? 368 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 FREEMAN. 369 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000 Tom: DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 370 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000 Sarah: WHAT? 371 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 Tom: THIS ISN'T ABOUT JAZMINE. 372 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000 Granddad: MR. WUNCLER. 373 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,000 YOU WANT TO MEET PRETTY BOY FLIZZY. 374 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000 UH... 375 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,000 NO, JAZMINE WANTS TO MEET PRETTY BOY FLIZZY. 376 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,000 I WAS JUST...WONDERING IF YOU, UM, HAD THAT MONEY. 377 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000 Tom: NO, YOU WANT ME TO DEFEND PRETTY BOY FLIZZY BECAUSE 378 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,000 WELL, UM...MON-- MONEY...W-W-WE, UH... 379 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000 YOU WANT TO MEET HIM AND DO HIM! 380 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000 Sarah: WHAT?! 381 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Tom: YEAH! YEAH! YOU DO! 382 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,000 YOU WANT TO GO UNH ON HIM! 383 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,000 Granddad: WELL...YOU SEE -- EDDIE?! 384 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,000 YOU WANT TO UNH ON HIM ALL NIGHT! 385 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000 Sarah: I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW INSECURE YOU ARE! 386 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000 Granddad: YES, WELL, I'M WORKIN' ON IT, BUT I DON'T HAVE 387 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000 LISTEN TO YOURSELF. YOU DON'T HAVE MY MONEY. 388 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,000 Tom: HE'S LIKE YOUR PERFECT MAN! 389 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000 HOW MUCH YOU HAVE? 390 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000 HE WON'T EVEN SAY SORRY WHEN HE POUNDS YOUR FACE IN! 391 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,000 BRING THE SUITCASE WITH THE MONEY! 392 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,000 Granddad: WAIT. 393 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000 WAIT. 394 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,000 HE'S NOT COMING THIS WAY. 395 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,000 HE'S GETTING IN HIS CAR. 396 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000 WITH ME, RIGHT? 397 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 SERIOUSLY, WHERE'S MY MONEY?! 398 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,000 YOU DON'T HAVE MY MONEY? 399 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000 Tom: YOU'RE A SELFISH BASTARD, ROBERT FREEMAN! 400 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000 GOD...DAMN! 401 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,000 A'IGHT. EDDIE. THINK. 402 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,000 WAIT! I GOT IT! 403 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000 Granddad: WHAT? 404 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 THE HOUSE. 405 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,000 Tom: I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA WORK OUT, FLIZZY. 406 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000 WE RENT OUT EACH OF THE ROOMS AS A SEPARATE UNIT -- TWO BEDROOMS, 407 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000 Tom: WELL, IT'S NOT YOU. 408 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,000 IT'S ME. 409 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,000 I'M JUST DEALING WITH SOME PERSONAL PROBLEMS. 410 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,000 UP, MY DUDE! 411 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? 412 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000 RIGHT NOW, WE'RE BOTH LETTING THE HATERS GET US DOWN. 413 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,000 WE GOT TO SHAKE THE HATERS. 414 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000 Granddad: WHAT DO WE THINK ABOUT...HAVING PEOPLE MOVE IN 415 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,000 DO THIS FOR ME, TOM. 416 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000 COME ON. SHAKE THOSE HATERS. 417 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000 Huey: WHOA. WAIT. I'M HATE-FREE, BUT I CAN STILL FEEL THE HATE ON YOU. 418 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000 Riley: YEAH, MAN, SLOW DOWN. 419 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,000 MMM. FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? 420 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000 YOU GUYS WILL LOVE IT. 421 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 IT'LL BE LIKE A COMMUNE. 422 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000 OKAY, SO... 423 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000 NOW WILL YOU TAKE THE CASE? 424 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 Tom: NO. 425 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 OKAY, FINE. 426 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,000 IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE CASE, YOU CAN'T TAKE THE CASE. 427 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 IT JUST SEEMS LIKE ME -- SEXY, BUFF ALPHA MALE -- AND YOU -- 428 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,000 "OCCUPY MY LIVING ROOM." 429 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,000 Riley: WHERE DO WE LIVE? 430 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,000 KINDHEARTED BUT FRUMPY EVERYMAN -- COULD SOMEHOW BE 431 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 IT'S DAMN NEAR LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HOUSE. 432 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000 ABLE TO HELP EACH OTHER. 433 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000 Tom: AM I A FRUMPY EVERYMAN? 434 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000 MAKE THIS SHIT FLY. 435 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,000 IS THAT WHY SHE'S LOST INTEREST?! 436 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,000 OF COURSE. 437 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000 TOM! 438 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,000 YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE 439 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,000 YOU GOT NO FLASH, NO SWAG, NO THIN VENEER OF TOUGHNESS. 440 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,000 OF COURSE YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU AND IS DOING IT TO SOME RANDOM GUY. 441 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,000 Tom: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID HAPPENED. 442 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000 SO, LOOK -- YOU TAKE THE CASE, AND I TEACH YOU HOW TO 443 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,000 DRESS AND HOW TO TALK TO BITCHES AND SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. 444 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,000 Tom: YOU KNOW WHAT? 445 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000 WHY NOT? 446 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000 YOU'RE NOT GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO DANCE, RIGHT? 447 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,000 NO. 448 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000 NO DANCING. 449 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000 BUT THERE WILL BE A SHOPPING MONTAGE. 450 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:34,000 TWO THINGS WOMEN HATE -- BROKE MEN AND BORING MEN. 451 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,000 GOOD NEWS IS, YOU'RE NOT BROKE. 452 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000 Granddad: YES, UH, I'M THE 453 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000 BUT YOU ARE BORING, AND WOMEN HATE TO BE BORED, TOM. 454 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,000 OWNER OF THE HOUSE. 455 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 YOU AIN'T THE OWNER OF THE HOUSE. 456 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,000 THEY HATE TO BE BORED. 457 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,000 A WOMAN WOULD RATHER BE WITH A GUY THAT BEATS THEM TO DEATH 458 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,000 Granddad: YES, WELL, I'M ROBERT FREEMAN, CIVIL RIGHTS -- 459 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,000 THAN BORES THEM TO DEATH. 460 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000 TRUST ME, NIGGA, I KNOW. 461 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000 BUT WHY DO THEY WANT ME, TOM? 462 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000 DO YOU WANT? 463 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000 Granddad: I WAS HOPING TO USE THE BATHROOM. 464 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000 IS IT MY INCREDIBLE SEXINESS? 465 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000 SURE. 466 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,000 BUT WHY AM I SO SEXY? 467 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000 Granddad: YES, BUT I WOULD PREFER TO U-- 468 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000 WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MY SEXINESS? 469 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000 OUT MY FACE, NIGGA! 470 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000 MY MONEY, MY JEWELS, FAME? 471 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,000 ARE WE ABOUT TO HAVE A NIGGA MOMENT? 472 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,000 ABSOLUTELY. 473 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000 BUT, REALLY, IT'S BECAUSE I'M A UP. 474 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000 Granddad: NO, PLEASE. 475 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,000 I DON'T WANNA HAVE A NIGGA MOMENT. 476 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000 I GET ARRESTED, I DO DRUGS, I ROB LIQUOR STORES -- ALLEGEDLY! 477 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000 I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 478 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000 THAT'S WHAT ALL WOMEN WANT. 479 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000 Tom: WHY? 480 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 BECAUSE WOMEN HAVE NO SELF-RESPECT! 481 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000 Tom: WELL, MY WIFE HAS 482 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 SELF-RESPECT. 483 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000 REALLY? YOU SURE? 484 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,000 Tom: YES! 485 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,000 SHE'S AN EDUCATED, WELL-ROUNDED, CONFIDENT WOMAN. 486 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,000 THAT'S IT! 487 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,000 I MAY NEED TO MEET HER. 488 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000 Tom: NO, NO, NO. NO. 489 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000 I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES. 490 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO MY WIFE. 491 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000 DO YOUR WIFE? 492 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000 TOM, I WOULDN'T DO YOUR WIFE. 493 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000 Tom: YOU HAVE A SONG CALLED "I WILL DO YOUR WIFE!" 494 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,000 YOU REALLY TURNED OUR LIFE INTO "GOOD TIMES." 495 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000 I DIDN'T MEAN YOUR WIFE! 496 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000 I MEANT THAT METAPHORICALLY. 497 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000 Riley: YEAH, FOR NOW. 498 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 Tom: MM, I STILL DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. 499 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000 NIGGA, I SWEAR ON MY ABS -- ON MY ABS, NIGGA! -- I WILL NOT 500 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 WHY CAN'T Y'ALL GET JOBS? 501 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000 Huey: CHILD LABOR LAWS, UNSAFE WORKPLACES, REALLY SMALL 502 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000 TOUCH YOUR WIFE. 503 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000 Tom: WELL, MY DAUGHTER WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU. 504 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 HANDS. 505 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000 A SMALL DINNER. YOUR GENERATION IS JUST LAZY, THAT'S ALL. 506 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000 NO ENTOURAGE! 507 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000 NO PROBLEM. 508 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,000 MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THESE 509 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,000 AW, COME ON. 510 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,000 I THOUGHT YOU GAVE UP WORK TO RUN FOR MAYOR. 511 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000 PEOPLE SHOWED UP. 512 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000 Tom: WELL, MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T TWEETED OUR ADDRESS TO 513 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000 I GAVE UP WORKING FOR NIGGAS, AND OTHER COLORS, LIKE MEXICANS 514 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,000 HEY, MAN... 515 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,000 Tom: YEAH, YOU WERE F'ed UP, I KNOW. 516 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000 NOW YOU BETTER GRAB SOME SUDS AND START WAXING HOODS. 517 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000 OKAY, SO, CHECK IT. 518 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,000 KEY WITH CHICKS IS TO INSULT THEM WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT THEM. 519 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000 WAX ON, WAX OFF, NIGGA! 520 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,000 NEVER BE TOO NICE. 521 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000 TRUST ME. 522 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000 GO NEG ON HER. 523 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000 KNOCK HER DOWN A PEG. 524 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000 SHE'LL LOVE IT. 525 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000 Granddad: DAMN! 526 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,000 WHAT'S THIS THING, ELECTRIC? 527 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,000 Tom: HEY, SWEETIE, YOU LOOK LOVELY TONIGHT. 528 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Sarah: OH, THANK YOU, HONEY. 529 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 Tom: YEAH, BUT NOT AS NICE AS YOU THINK YOU LOOK. 530 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,000 COME ON, MAN! 531 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Sarah: ASSHOLE! 532 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000 LOOK, LOU GOSSETT JR. IS WASHING MY CAR. 533 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000 STOP TRYING TO HIDE INSIDE MY TRUNK. 534 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000 I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY FIRED THE SAND PEOPLE. 535 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000 Granddad: HEY, NEIGHBOR! 536 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000 WE, UH, HEARD THERE'S A DINNER PARTY GOING DOWN, AND I NEVER 537 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,000 RECEIVED THE E-VITE, SO HERE WE ARE. 538 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000 FEEL THAT, NIGGA? FEEL THAT? 539 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000 THAT FEELIN' IS CALLED "WORK." 540 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000 Tom: YOU DIDN'T GET ONE BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T INVITED. 541 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000 YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE LEAVING ME OUT IN THE COLD AND THEN 542 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000 Granddad: SHUT UP, RUCKUS. 543 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000 WHEN DO I GET PAID? 544 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000 WANTING TO COME TO THE FLIZZY DINNER FOR THE FREE FOOD. 545 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000 YOU FIRED. 546 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 Granddad: FIRED? WHY? 547 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000 Granddad: WE DIDN'T COME HERE FOR THE FREE FOOD. 548 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,000 THE CAR-WASH BRASS IS CUTTIN' BACK HOURS. 549 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000 WE CAME HERE TO WARN YOU. 550 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,000 TOM, YOU GOT TO GET THAT FLIZZY AWAY FROM YOUR WIFE! 551 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000 WE'LL CALL YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU. 552 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 IT'S BAD ENOUGH SHE'S TRAPPED IN THIS PASSIONLESS, SEXUALLY 553 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,000 UNFULFILLING MARRIAGE WITH YOU. 554 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000 HER LADYPARTS PROBABLY BURNING WITH UNQUENCHABLE LUST, AND YOU 555 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000 JUST GONNA DANGLE ALL THAT SEXINESS IN FRONT OF HER?! 556 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000 WHAT'D YOU DO NOW? 557 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000 Tom: HUH? 558 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000 Riley: MAN, IT'S LIKE, "HERE, NIGGA, TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE!" 559 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000 Granddad: HUH? 560 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000 Huey: YOU KNOW HE'S GOT A SONG CALLED -- 561 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000 Tom: "I WILL DO YOUR WIFE," YES. 562 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000 Huey: BUT THERE'S ALSO A SONG CALLED, "WHITE WIFEBOOTY." 563 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000 UNCLE RUCKUS IS BACK ON THE SCENE, RUFFLING SMALL-TOWN 564 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 KNOW THAT? 565 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000 Tom: REALLY? 566 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000 NO, NO, I DIDN'T. 567 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000 AND IT DOESN'T MATTER, GUYS. 568 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000 I-I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 569 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000 FLIZZY'S GONNA HELP ME WORK THINGS OUT WITH SARAH. 570 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000 Granddad: OH, HE GONNA WORK SOMETHING OUT, ALL RIGHT. 571 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A 572 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000 THAT BOOTY. 573 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000 Tom: HE'S HERE TO HELP. 574 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000 Granddad: OH, HE GONNA HELP HIMSELF TO THAT BOOTY! 575 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,000 HE ALMOST RIGHT. 576 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000 THE WHITE HALF OF HIM RIGHT, BECAUSE THE WHITE BUSINESSMAN, 577 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000 Granddad: HE'S GONNA -- Tom: CONTROL THAT BOOTY. 578 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,000 GOT IT. 579 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,000 Granddad: I WASN'T GONNA SAY THAT. 580 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,000 HE GONNA BE UNDER THAT BOOTY! 581 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000 Riley: HA HA! 582 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,000 GOOD ONE, GRANDDAD! 583 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000 Tom: YEAH, HA, YEAH, VERY FUNNY GUYS. ENOUGH. 584 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000 HIS BLACK ASS ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO AMERICA TO DO SOME 585 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000 Granddad: AS LONG AS YOU KNOW. 586 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000 NEXT TIME YOUR KIDS ARE BORN WITH GREAT ABS AND TATTOOS, 587 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,000 PRODUCTIVE WORK. 588 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000 DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU. 589 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 COME ON, KIDS. LET'S EAT. 590 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000 THANK YOU, FANS. THANK YOU. 591 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000 Sarah: 592 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000 OH, MY GOD, FLIZZY, YOU'RE SO FUNNY AND SO POLITE. 593 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000 THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW COME WE ARE LOSIN' TO THE CHINESE -- 594 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ROB LIQUOR STORES AND YOU BEAT UP WOMEN. 595 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000 BECAUSE THE CHINAMAN USES SLAVE LABOR, AND WE DON'T. 596 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000 Tom: SARAH! 597 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,000 NO, IT'S COOL. 598 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,000 SHE'S RIGHT. 599 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000 I REALLY NEED TO STOP GETTING ARRESTED. 600 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,000 Sarah: I'M NOT PASSING JUDGMENT ABOUT THE CHRISTIANNA 601 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000 THEY SHOULD BE USIN' GOOD OLD-FASHIONED BLACKY AMERICAN 602 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 I KNOW SOMETIMES BITCHES STEP OUT OF LINE. 603 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 SLAVE LABOR! 604 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000 LORD KNOWS I DO! 605 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,000 Tom: HONEY, THERE ARE 606 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,000 CHILDREN AT THE TABLE. 607 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000 Sarah: NOW, I WANT TO BE CLEAR, KIDS -- HITTING A WOMAN 608 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000 CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY. 609 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,000 A GANGSTALICIOUS CARD. 610 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000 IS WRONG... 611 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000 UNLESS SHE HITS YOU FIRST. 612 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000 Huey: YOU GOT THE GANGSTALICIOUS CARD, GRANDDAD? 613 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 AIN'T THAT RIGHT! 614 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000 Tom: WOW. 615 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000 Sarah: OR SHE TALKS ABOUT YOUR MAMA! 616 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000 Tom: SARAH, THAT IS ENOUGH! 617 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000 Sarah: "SARAH, THAT'S ENOUGH." 618 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000 Tom: SARAH, THAT'S IT! 619 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000 YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER AND IN 620 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000 KARDASHIAN CARD, LIL WAYNE CARD -- YOU SEE, BOYS? 621 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,000 FRONT OF PRETTY BOY FLIZZY! 622 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,000 Riley: IT'S LIKE WE NOT EVEN HERE. 623 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000 Tom: NOW, YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH. 624 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000 YOU ARE GOING TO GO UPSTAIRS AND SLEEP IT OFF! 625 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, TOM? 626 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000 $1,500 IN FEES?! 627 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,000 HIT ME? 628 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,000 Tom: NO! I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU! 629 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000 MWAH! 630 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000 Jazmine: DADDY! 631 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000 Sarah: TOM, WAIT! 632 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000 TOM! 633 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Granddad: TOM, GREW A PAIR. 634 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000 DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. 635 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:54,000 Riley: 636 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000 YEAH, IT'S SO COZY, A-AND I LOVE HOW YOU ARRANGED THE BEDS. 637 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,000 IT'S A VERY...ECONOMICAL USE OF SPACE. 638 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000 BITTER. 639 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000 SAY, DO YOU MIND IF WE STORE, UH...SOMETHING HERE FOR JUST A 640 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000 SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. 641 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000 COUPLE OF DAYS? 642 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,000 DIDN'T REALLY HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO CALL. 643 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000 EH, NO SWEAT, MAN. 644 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 THAT WAS ROUGH. 645 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000 Tom: YEAH, IT WAS A DISASTER. 646 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000 SO MUCH FOR MAKING A MAN OUT OF ME. 647 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000 NAW, MAN. 648 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000 TO JUST STAND UP AND WALK OUT, THAT TOOK GUTS. 649 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 Tom: ALL I ENDED UP LEARNING IS MY WIFE LIKES YOU BETTER. 650 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000 DEBT. 651 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000 YOUR WIFE DOESN'T LIKE ME BETTER. 652 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000 YOU GUYS ARE BOTH JUST BORING AS 653 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000 YOU'RE ROLLING WITH ME TONIGHT. 654 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,000 I'M TAKING YOU TO MAN CAMP. 655 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000 BUT I DON'T HANG WITH NO NEGATIVE-ENERGY-SUCKING 656 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000 Granddad: UH... 657 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000 SO GATHER UP SOME POSITIVITY IN THIS BITCH RIGHT 658 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000 SURE. Y-YEAH. 659 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000 QUICK AND LET'S ROLL OUT. 660 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,000 Tom: OKAY! I CAN BE POSITIVE. 661 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000 I'M NOT A LOSER. 662 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,000 I CAN...GET STUFF...HAPPENING, AND I GOT STUFF GOING ON! 663 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000 MAYBE...MILLION, AT LEAST? 664 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000 Granddad: EDDIE, I'M SORRY. 665 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000 THINGS COULD BE WORSE. 666 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000 I COULD BE THAT GUY. 667 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000 THINK, EDDIE, THINK. 668 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000 IT'S A MIRROR, TOM. 669 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 FIND ME A WAY TO GET ROBERT THAT MONEY. 670 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, SIR. 671 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,000 THEIR CREDIT IS...PISS-POOR, SIR. 672 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000 NO! 673 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000 THIS MAN IS A CUSTOMER. 674 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,000 HE IS A DEAR FAMILY FRIEND. 675 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000 HE IS A WAR HERO -- A CIVIL-RIGHTS LEGEND! 676 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,000 WE MUST FIND A WAY TO HELP HIM! 677 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000 WELL, THERE IS ONE WAY. 678 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000 WELCOME. 679 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Tom: OH, WHAT THE HECK. 680 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 IT'S MAN CAMP. 681 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000 AT WUNCLER BANKING, WE DO BELIEVE IN OFFERING QUALITY 682 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000 BANKING SERVICES TO THOSE WITH DAMAGED CREDIT. 683 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000 Granddad: A LOAN! YES! 684 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000 I'LL TAKE IT! 685 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,000 DONE! 686 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000 CONGRATULATIONS! 687 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000 I BELIEVE IN YOU, ROBERT. 688 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000 I BELIEVE IN THE FREEMAN FAMILY! 689 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000 FREEMAN FAMILY! FREEMAN FAMILY! 690 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,000 Tom: HEY, THIS IS THE BUY-N-FLY THAT FLIZZY ROBBED. 691 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000 FUNNY. 692 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Granddad: THAT WENT WELL. 693 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,000 Huey: DID YOU CHECK THE INTEREST RATE? 694 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 Granddad: 150% INTEREST?! 695 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000 Riley: WHAT'S THAT MEAN? 696 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000 Y'ALL KNOW I DON'T DO MATH. 697 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,000 Tom: TYLENOL? 698 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:45,000 IT WAS A RIP-OFF, AN EASY-CREDIT RIP-OFF! 699 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 Granddad: HUH? 700 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,000 I'M TELLING YOU, WE'VE 701 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000 WATCHED THIS THING A MILLION TIMES. 702 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,000 WE KNOW THAT'S FLIZZY. 703 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000 CASE CLOSED. 704 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,000 HA HA HA! YEAH! 705 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Granddad: 706 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000 WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE NOT SANGIN' 707 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000 CUT! 708 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 THERE WAS A P.A. IN THE SHOT! 709 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000 RESET! 710 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000 MAN, I'M GETTING SWEATY. 711 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Huey: IT'S "HANGIN' IN THE CHOW LINE," GRANDDAD. 712 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 PRETTY'S SWEATY. 713 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000 IS SOMEONE DEAF? 714 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000 SHINE CHECK! 715 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000 CAN YOU THROW ME A LINE? 716 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000 TRYING TO GET MY UNION CARD. 717 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,000 FIND ANYTHING, COLUMBO? 718 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Tom: UH, NOPE! 719 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000 NOTHING. 720 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,000 THANKS, JACK. 721 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000 IT -- MOVING DAY. 722 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000 Riley: SO, SO UNFORTUNATE 723 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000 MRS. DuBOIS, DO YOU MIND IF 724 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 WE DO A QUICK SOUND CHECK? 725 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,000 Sarah: OF COURSE. GO AHEAD. 726 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000 " ON 1, 2, 3 -- 727 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000 NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU BROKE, BALD 728 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000 Sarah: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 729 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000 HOLD ON! 730 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000 EXCUSE ME JUST A SEC. 731 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000 YOU, UH, CAN'T SING THAT AT JAZMINE'S PARTY. 732 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000 ABOUT YOUR CHEMO! 733 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000 YOU DON'T LIKE IT? 734 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000 Sarah: NO! I LOVE THAT SONG. 735 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000 A LOT, ACTUALLY. 736 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 WITH SOMETHING. 737 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000 DEAD!! 738 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000 Sarah: NO, NO. 739 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000 OKAY. SEE YA. 740 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000 HOW ABOUT "CAKE"? 741 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000 SURE THING, MRS. DuBOIS. 742 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000 Granddad: OW, OW, OW! 743 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000 WHOOPS. 744 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000 SORRY, I WAS JUST CUTTIN' SOME, UH, MEAT EARLIER. 745 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,000 WHAT'S UP, TIGER? 746 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,000 Tom: YOU FAKED THE ROBBERY. 747 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 748 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Tom: I WATCHED THE SURVEILLANCE TAPE, FLIZZY -- THE 749 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 THIS PLACE, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, WON'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU 750 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 WHOLE TAPE. 751 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000 I KNOW YOU STAGED THE ROBBERY. 752 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000 ISN'T THERE ANYONE WHO CAN HELP THIS MAN? 753 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000 YOU JUST COULDN'T LEAVE ALONE, COULD YOU? 754 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,000 Ruckus: YES, SIR, MR. KINDLY BILLIONAIRE WHITE MAN. 755 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000 Tom: WHAT ELSE WAS FAKE? 756 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,000 WERE THE NICARAGUAN GUNS FAKE? 757 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,000 DID YOU REALLY EVEN BEAT CHRISTIANNA? 758 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000 DON'T YOU EVER QUESTION WHETHER OR NOT I BEAT 759 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,000 CHRISTIANNA! 760 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000 I WHUPPED THAT BITCH'S ASS! 761 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000 LOOK, IT'S FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND THE 762 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000 BUT THE NICKI MINAJ THING WAS STAGED. 763 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000 NEXT MAYOR OF WOODCREST, UNCLE RUCKUS! 764 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,000 SHE AIN'T REALLY A CYBORG, EITHER. 765 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000 SHE'S A NICE GIRL. 766 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000 You get in there and you do the thing I'm talkin' about. 767 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 DAMN, TOM. 768 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,000 WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS? 769 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Tom: I'M YOUR ATTORNEY! 770 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000 Ruckus: 771 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 THIS IS MY BUSINESS! 772 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000 BUT WHY? 773 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000 'CAUSE I GOT TO STAY RELEVANT! THAT'S WHY! 774 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 SUCKS RIGHT NOW! 775 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000 Granddad: SLAVERY?! 776 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000 YOU GOT TO ACT LIKE AN IDIOT JUST TO STAY IN THEIR 777 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000 FACES! 778 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,000 BUT IF I CAN STAY IN JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF TROUBLE, I'LL BE 779 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,000 I THINK ABOUT IT AS INVESTING IN PEOPLE. 780 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000 MY AUDIENCE IS WOMEN, TOM -- WOMEN. 781 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000 I INVEST IN YOU, YOU HELP ME. 782 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 AND WOMEN HATE TO BE BORED. 783 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000 Riley: YEAH, WHAT WE GOT TO DO IN RETURN? 784 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000 Tom: LOOK, FLIZZY, I'M SORRY. 785 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000 IT BETTER NOT BE NOTHIN' GAY. 786 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,000 I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS. 787 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000 NO. 788 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000 I DON'T LIVE IN YOUR WORLD. 789 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000 I'M A SIMPLE GUY. 790 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000 I JUST WANT TO DO MY JOB, TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY, AND I NEEDED 791 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000 TIME, AND, IN EXCHANGE... 792 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 SOME HELP TRYING TO GET MY WIFE BACK. 793 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,000 NO, I JUST OWN 100% OF YOUR TIME UNTIL THE DEBT IS PAID. 794 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,000 OH, YOU WANT YOUR WIFE BACK? 795 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000 HOW ABOUT NOT INVITING A NIGGA THAT'S RICHER THAN YOU AND 796 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,000 SURE, IT IS. 797 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000 FOR EXAMPLE, LET'S SAY I COME BY UNANNOUNCED, IN THE MIDDLE OF 798 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000 PRETTIER THAN YOU TO MEET YOUR WIFE? 799 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000 I MEAN, HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE, NIGGA? 800 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000 Tom: WHAT? 801 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000 BUT I-I THOUGHT WE WERE -- THOUGHT WHAT, NIGGA?! 802 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000 I'M TIRED OF YOUR PUNK-ASS! 803 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,000 FLIZZY, I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST 804 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000 LEAVE. 805 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000 LEAVE? 806 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000 I MIGHT AS WELL MOVE IN THIS BITCH. 807 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,000 Granddad: I'LL TAKE IT! 808 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,000 YOU ALREADY DONE GAVE ME YOUR WIFE. 809 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000 THIS IS MY HOUSE! 810 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000 JAZMINE'S GONNA BE CALLING ME DADDY FROM NOW ON. 811 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000 I WANT MY HOUSE BACK. 812 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000 IT'S LITERALLY SLAVERY! 813 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000 Tom: NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH! 814 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000 OH, YOU MAD, TOM? 815 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,000 WHAT YOU GONNA DO? 816 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,000 YOU WANT TO HIT ME? 817 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,000 HIT ME, TOM! 818 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 FLIZZY, I'M WARNING YOU... 819 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000 HIT ME, TOM. 820 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000 COME ON, HIT ME NOW! 821 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,000 Tom: ALL RIGHT, YOU ASKED FOR IT! 822 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000 HOW MANY YEARS DO I HAVE LEFT, ANYWAY? 823 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000 I'VE BEEN FREE MY WHOLE LIFE, AND WHAT HAS IT GOTTEN ME? 824 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000 Sarah: TOM! 825 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 AAH! 826 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000 I'M TIRED OF LIVIN' IN THAT GARAGE WITH YOU TWO SMELLY 827 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000 NIGGAS. 828 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000 YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY FAMILY! 829 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,000 Sarah: TOM! OH, MY GOD! 830 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000 THIS IS A PROUD DAY -- THE DAY 831 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,000 TOM, STOP! 832 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000 Ruckus: OH! I KNEW IT! 833 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,000 I KNEW IT! 834 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000 CITIZEN'S ARREST! 835 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000 I'M MAKING A CITIZEN'S ARREST! 836 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,000 Tom: 837 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 WE BRING SLAVERY BACK TO AMERICA. 838 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,000 Riley: NOW SHUT UP! 839 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000 STOP SQUIRMING! 840 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,000 YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! 841 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,000 Sarah: OH! 842 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,000 BABY, ARE YOU OKAY?! 843 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,000 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT. 844 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000 YOU WERE A MANIAC! 845 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000 I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THAT. 846 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,000 WHITE MAN AND HIS WELL-RUN FINANCIAL INSTITUTION. 847 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000 I JUST WANT TO THANK UNCLE RUCKUS FOR HIS 848 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000 LEADERSHIP -- AND, OF COURSE, TO ROBERT FREEMAN FOR HAVING THE 849 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,000 Ruckus: ALL RIGHT, GET MOVING, GET MOVING. 850 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000 AVERT YOUR EYES, AVERT YOUR EYES. 851 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,000 JUST A NIGGA GOING TO JAIL. 852 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,000 NOTHING TO SEE HERE. 853 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,000 I ALMOST FORGOT -- I WON THE BET. 854 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,000 Sarah: OH, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY. 855 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,000 I WAS SUCH A BITCH, AND YOU DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THAT. 856 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000 OH, WE MADE A BET THAT I COULDN'T GET YOU GUYS TO SIGN 857 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,000 Tom: YES. 858 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000 YES, YOU WERE A..."B." 859 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000 HE DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO IT. 860 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,000 Sarah: PLEASE COME HOME. 861 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,000 PLEASE. 862 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,000 HERE YOU GO, BOSS. 863 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000 I HAVE CAKE. 864 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 LET'S GET YOU UPSTAIRS. 865 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000 YOU READY FOR SOME SARAH CAKE? 866 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000 Granddad: WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! 867 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000 NAUGHTY! 868 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000 Granddad: NOOOOO!! 869 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:58,000 Tom: 870 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,000 OH, MY BACK! 871 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,000 OH! I'M SORRY. 872 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000 YEAH. 873 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000 NO